CR221-240

Brandon Eller
ENGL MWF
CR 221-240

The purpose of this reading was to get us thinking about how to approach and revise our papers. The author created many exercises to help us approach our papers without getting overwhelmed. He also used many analogies to help us connect to what he was saying like comparing his essays to his high school girlfriend. His statement “I’d work on something very hard, finally finishing the draft. I’d know there were problems, but I’d developed such a tight relationship with my draft that the problems were hard to see. And even when I recognized some problems, the thought of making major changes too risky” really connected with me. I know my original papers had issues, but I worked so hard on them, and at a certain point I didn’t care anymore. With all the research and time I put into my paper, I saw it as a beautiful thing. But as with most of my papers, after taking a long break from looking at it, I can see a lot of areas where it needs work, and now I have no problem going back and making some changes. Exercise 5.4, which we are doing on Wednesday as far as I can remember, seems interesting, and beneficial to do. Who knows, maybe it will help to reorganize ideas and make it a more fluent paper. I can honestly say I wish I had these hints and exercises in high school to help with some important papers that I needed to graduate so I could have finished them before my senior year.
With these directions on how to properly revise my papers, I am confident that my portfolio will turn out to be a wonderful thing. I won’t have to spitball fixing up my papers and just hoping for the best, I will now have a guide on what needs to be done, and how to approach each revision I do.

CR Read

This reading was about revision. It gave helpful pointers on how to revise the first draft of a paper successfully. The author says that you should not be afraid that you will ruin your paper when revising. He goes on to give helpful exercizes one could use while revising.
This is reading will help me while I begin revising my papers. I can relate to what the author is talking about when he mentions falling in love with your first draft. I do that sometimes and it makes me not want to add or take away anything from my first draft. When revising my ethnography and argument papers I need to focus on adding more information and analysis rather than taking away. The author also mentions trimming down wordy sentenses which is another thing I am going to focus on. Overall, this reading will turn out to be helpful when I begin my revision.

Reading these pages kinda gives me a headache thinking about my revisions. I think there is alot of good information in this section, though a lot of it I feel like has been gone over in previous classes. I liked the part about about controlling information. I feel in past papers I haven't always integrated really valuable information into the paper in an appropriate manner that gave its full value. this is something I think I need to work on especially in my ethnography. I think having an interesting read that isnt just reciting facts, but integrating them in a readable manner is pretty important. I'm definitely not a huge fan of some of the exercises he has in the section, I feel if you take time to examine a paper from an outside point of view, and at different times a person should be able to clear up the issues that he addresses in the book.(I have a sneaking suspicion we will be doing one of the exercises in class tomorrow). Overall, I found it helpful but not really ground breaking, though it helped to set the tone for this upcoming revisions.

Reading Response

For this reading we had to read pages 221-240. These pages talked about revising, but not just revising because someone said to. But with a purpose, with the feedback that we received on our papers is just a starting point for where we need to go. The reading also says that people tend to "fall in love" with their drafts and are scared to do anything to them because they don't want to ruin their work. But the reading says that the first draft is just a start and when you revise you can expand on the "love" that is there for the first draft.
This reading is important to what we are doing in class because we are working on revising all of our drafts. Some of them might have a lot of work that needs to be put in and we cant be afraid of changing a lot of our papers so that they become better. Working on revisions is going to take a lot of time and effort and we need to be ready for whats ahead.

Op-Ed. Exciting, right?

Brandon Eller
English 102
11/13/09

Stop Smoking Op-Ed
Smoking is an addiction that many people want to break, but are often mislead in the best treatment. Most people believe that Nicotine Replacement Therapy is going to free them from their addiction, but this is simply not the case. According to The American Cancer Society, 91.4% of former smokers have quit cold turkey, or by simple weaning from their normal intake. The reason people smoke and continue to smoke is to give the body its fix of nicotine, which cigarettes supply. Nicotine is addictive, but not really all that harmful, but the other chemicals in the cigarettes are, leading to many health issues. This is why people quit, to live longer, healthier lives. And since nicotine is the only part the brain is craving, many people will try to replace their cigarettes with a patch, gum, or other item to give the body its “needed” nicotine.

One major problem with switching over to a nicotine gum or patch is that users will become dependent of those, and may easily relapse to their old smoking habits. According to lifestyle.iloveindia.com, chewing nicotine gum for too long will lead to prolonged hiccups, gum disease, and loss of hair and teeth. The reason for the gum disease and tooth loss is due to the nicotine causing poor circulation in the gums. And what happens when someone cuts their addiction to one of these Nicotine Replacements? Well they are likely to turn back to smoking, and when someone “quits” smoking, and comes back to it, it will be twice as hard for them to quit again.

Rory Stafford is a former smoker who originally tried the patch with no success. He said that after only six days using a patch he decided it was useless and went back to smoking for another five years. What did he do when he worked up the courage to try again? “I prepared by setting a date and began to consider each cigarette as I smoked it. I noted its horrible taste and the feeling of weakness that followed from the smoke. I told myself that there was no benefit to be had from smoking and in time, I came to realize that this was true.” When he came to the date he set to be finished with smoking, he welcomed it and was relieved to be finished with his 20 years of smoking. After being smoke free for five years, he says that if he had used gum or patches at the same time it would have prolonged his recovery. He admits during the first few weeks there were moments where he was shaky, but it passed and he’s feeling great. Nicotine Replacement Therapy is a good concept, but it lacks the success rates that self motivation has. Smoking is a hard habit to break, but if you want to be completely rid of it, then willpower will is clearly the strongest option. Some treatments are being worked on to eliminate smoking addiction without feeding nicotine into the body, and these will probably greatly help when combined with pure willpower.

op-ed

Micah Andersen
Christi Vance
Engl. 102
11 Nov 2009
America Open Your Eyes, And Drink Wine
America is known for being the Best at a lot of things; economy, cheeseburgers, and even military occupations. What it is not widely known for is the exceptional quality of its wine. One has to wonder why a country that excels at anything it puts effort into isn’t regarded as the premier spot for wine. One might ask some basic questions as to this little dilemma; maybe we don’t have the best growing conditions, or maybe French wine is simply better? It could be that America just doesn’t produce enough wine to really get into the quality stuff. In truth, all these questions are pretty easily answered in America’s favor, and the only thing holding back America from being the world’s foremost producer of quality wine can be summed up in one phrase, Eurocentric bias.
It’s the European wine community that’s holding back American wines. Their nationalist opinions, and narrow mindedness, don’t let them accept the fact that American wine is usually superior to their own countries. This has been proven time and again in international competitions where American wines routinely trounce their European counterparts. On their website, Chateau Montelena recounts the famous wine tasting of 1976, as it was later known as “The Judgment of Paris” through a series of newspaper articles in which American wines (chateau Montelena included) beat out French competitors in a blind taste test. The panel of judges was composed entirely of French wine experts, who voted American wines first place in both White and red wine categories. These results have been repeated time and again. Dr. David J. Hanson tracks of 30 years of wine tastings in his article “Historic Paris Wine Tasting of 1976 and Other Significant Competitions”, in which American wines have defeated their international competitors.
From the 1970’s onward American wines have been embarrassing the prestigious French Bordeaux and few other European countries dare to challenge American vintages. So where’s all the media attention? As can be seen in an article from Wine News by dick Rosano’s article “Wine Service in The President’s House” French wine has still been served in the seat of America’s power for off and on for the past 30 years. Why until the 1990’s was French wine still served in our own White House? Why aren’t bottles of quality American vintages lining the shelves of high end wine shops in France? It all comes back to the fact that some people just can’t let go of the past.
Sure French wines were the greatest the world had to offer for many years, but the time has come to pass the torch and the glass to their American beneficiaries. The best wines now are coming out of the multi-climate pacific coast of the U.S. and a few other regions in the interior. America has always been destined to make the world’s best wine and it has assumed its place, what it lacks is the recognition it deserves.
This is all changing with the dramatic growth of America’s wine industry. A simple look at the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nation’s website shows that America is now the fourth largest producer of wine in the world. Soon the image of fine wine won’t come from antiquated cellars in Europe, but instead the new and robust wineries of our own country. I would implore all wine enthusiasts from America and the world in general to stop buying in to their Eurocentric bias, and buy American.

Op-Ed

If I had to choose between working out with a personal trainer or working out with a friend. I would choose a personal trainer without a doubt. Personal trainers have the knowledge and the experience to help people accomplish things that no one else can. When talking to Jerry Flynn who is a personal trainer he went on to say “When people want to see results that show up quickly then there is nothing that can come close to the effectiveness of working out with personal trainers.”(Flynn) If people didn’t think that personal trainer worked then there wouldn’t be nearly two hundred and fifty thousand personal trainers nationwide, also that number is expected to grow by nearly seven thousand jobs a year from 2006-2016.(bls.gov.)

When people think about working out with a personal trainer there is one thing that they know they will get, someone who is honestly interested in helping people get better. While working out with a personal trainer might not be the thing for everyone it is the way to get the best results. Working out on your own or working out with a friend isn’t the way to go, when working out with someone who is a friend one is more likely to get off track and cheat themselves out of a workout that could have really helped get them.

Personal trainers are people that know how to handle problems when they come up. They are able to get the best out of people even when they don’t want to work hard. When someone is working out alone or with a friend they might just take a day off and say they will make it up later, with a personal trainer they can try and help get peoples mind off of what is bothering them, this fact is overlooked because people tend to think that things won’t come up and change their workouts. It’s a lot harder to change workouts when one is working out with a trainer.

There is nothing that can come close to the benefits that someone can get from working with a personal trainer. Just based on the knowledge that they have, and their willingness to help people out. “There is nothing better than helping someone get better and reach their goals. If I had to go through a day where someone I was working with didn’t feel like they got an advantage from working with me then I shouldn’t be a personal trainer anymore.” (Flynn) I know that this is only one persons view on things, but this says a lot about how much it really means to him. When someone decides to work with a friend they don’t get all of this. A friend isn’t really invested in the workouts because there isn’t anything in it for them.

Steroid Op-Ed

Dan Boel

Christy Vance

English 102

11/12/09

Steroid Op-Ed

Drugs such as alcohol and tobacco are solely responsible for over a half of a million deaths in the United States every year. Anabolic steroids, on the other hand, have never been conclusively linked to a single death in the United States (steroid.com). What’s the difference between these two drugs? Alcohol and tobacco are 100 percent legal for those of age while the nonmedical use of anabolic steroids is illegal. I cannot say that steroids have no negative side effects or that they are perfectly safe to use, however, steroids should have never been made illegal.

It wasn’t until the 1980’s that steroids started to get a bad name. There were news stories all the time telling about steroids being used by high school students or someone “roid raging” on someone else. The media took those stories and ran with them. It became such a big topic that it forced congress to address the issue. In 1991, congress discussed the issue of anabolic steroids and banned their nonmedical use putting them in the Schedule III of the Controlled Substance Act (steroid.com). This lumped Steroids into the same category as drugs such as LSD, heroin, and cocaine. From the sounds of it, it seems as if congress was pressured into dealing with the situation and made a decision to avoid looking bad. While the law was being discussed in congress, many medical groups such as the DEA, FDA, and AMA were all strongly against the idea of making steroids illegal arguing that “abuse of these hormones does not cause the physical or psychological dependence required scheduling under the control act” (collins). Congress made the choice to ban their nonmedical use because of pressure from the media and because steroids might be harmful to an individual if abused.

There is a huge difference between use and abuse. When abused, almost anything can be dangerous to your health, that doesn’t mean it should be illegal. Take Ibuprofen for example. When the right dosage is consumed, it can have a positive effect on the body by either southing a headache or minimizing swelling somewhere on the body. However, if one were to use an unsafe amount of Ibuprofen, it could be very dangerous and harmful to the body. It’s the same with steroids. When used properly, steroids can produce large amounts of lean muscle, more confidence, and an overall better physique. However, when abused, steroids can also have bad side effects such as liver damage, balding, and raised aggression (Roberts).

Just because something could potentially be harmful to a person’s health, does that give the government the right to make it illegal? Cars are very dangerous to drive. Should they be illegal? Skateboarding is dangerous. Should it be illegal? Skydiving could kill someone in a heartbeat if something went wrong, yet skydiving is perfectly legal. At least steroids have the power to improve the body.

Congress was not successful in stopping the nonmedical use of steroids. What they were successful in doing was creating “a huge black market for the sale of steroids, full of underground laboratories and counterfeits” (steroid.com). If steroids were to become legal, it would strongly minimize the black market sale of them. On top of that, it would make the use of them much safer because they could be inspected by the FDA before being distributed. For that matter, the government could even mark up a big tax on steroids and use that money for further research on the product and how to make them even safer to use. Congress has made a huge mess of the situation by bowing down to the media making anabolic steroids illegal. Instead of trying to stand approved before the media, congress should have actually tried looking into the hard facts about steroids before they decided to ban them.

CR Reading Responce 11/1/09

This section of the reading is referring to starting a paper and organizing conflicting data. The first half of the paper addresses a common problem that student writers run into, which is organizing their data and wading through the arguments which often contradict each other. Their advice is to evaluate each piece of evidence and apply it to the argument, keeping in mind that you are writing an argument paper and have to prove your point. The way this excerpt is phrased though, seems like it could lead to too much exclusion of the opposing side. It's important to mention the other side's main points and then find a way to either, a) show why your side is more right, or b) show why the other side is wrong. This may seem like the same thing but it isn't. It's also easier to use b), but both parts are important though. It's always important to mention the opposing side for a sound argument paper.

The second part refers to introductions. Its cautioning students against generalized intros, saying a more specific one caries more weight. It suggests different templates for starting a paper like anecdote...quote...etc. What it doesn't seem to mention though is that intros should define the theme of your paper. This is why writing intros is so difficult. Anyone can spin off a story. In good papers though, I've found that, say an anecdote, will be tied in through out the story and isn't standing in the intro, a lone soldier, never being mentioned anywhere else. The intro has to make a point, not just hook the reader. This is where I disagree with the text. The text's suggestion leads to a very overused, cliche, form of writing with is frankly quite boring and unoriginal.

The text also discusses putting yourself and your opinions into the paper. This really is up to the writer to decide and the tone of the topic. Use how you like, but make it sound intelligent. Avoiding "I" usually makes it easier.

They Say, I Say

Brandon Eller

ENGL 9:40

The first part of the reading was there to get us to think about how to make readers interested. One cannot just have a paper, or a speech talking about something. There has to be a purpose, a reason why someone would want to write/ speak, and why others would want to read/listen. This is best summed up with the opening antidote about the speaker talking about “Dr. X” and how he just spoke. There was nothing to keep people interested, no explaining why, just talking about “Dr. X” and his work. It is then described that if it was mentioned about how some dispute “Dr. X” and his findings, and talked a little about that, things would have been better for all. The speech would have been stronger, and attention would have been given. The second part of the reading has to do with the “They say, I say” part of an argument. This is indeed important because it gives the audience the views of the speaker, and of those who oppose them, or only partially agree with them.

This reading pertains to the class since we are going to be writing a persuasive paper, and we need to be able to give a reason for writing our papers, and state our views. As in the reading we will need to state what we feel, but we will need to give a specific side, not being able to use the neutral stand point where both sides are right. With this reading we will be able to fairly state what others believe, while putting our own rebuttal to argue their findings, or beliefs and show what we think. Our readers will (hopefully) be sucked in and want to read more, knowing why we write, and be able to see our point of view, even if they don’t agree with it. Just getting our views out there will be enough, and hopefully persuade them to think both sides through at the least.

Reading Response 10/30/09

This purpose of this reading was to point out some helpful tips while writing an argument paper. The main point I found most helpful was that you need to be clear about your argument in your paper. Don't just hide the argument deep in the paper but rather come right out and state it. Also, to be clear about which side you are arguing and support your argument to the best of your ability. This reading also points out the format of an argument paper.
This reading applies to our class because we are currently writing an argument paper. The points discussed in this reading will help us with the format of our paper and also will help us to be clear about our arguments as we continue to write.

I say

In the reading of 'They Say, I say' it talks a lot about how while writing a paper that that has opposing view points that you should give your view point on the entire subject early on so that the reader isn't confused about which side of the fence you are on. On page 18 of "They Say" it says that the most important thing in writing is a point, i think this is key, because your not just doing a free write, your writing a argument paper for a reason. Also on page 19 they go on to say that it is suggested that as a writer you sumarize what "they say" at the beggining and then sparadically remind the reader of your point throughout the text.

I think this is important because we are in the middle of writing our own argument papers and we will have to put both sides of the argument into ours. This reading will help me because it gives examples of how to word things so that they made sense and get your point across. Overall this reading is going to be very helpful in writing my own argument paper.

they say/ I say, response ?

I'm just going to respond in two parts as they discussed two different things, though interrelated. they first few pages of They Say, I Say, I thought made a lot of sense. The whole time I was reading it I was thinking about past papers and writings, and I wondered how something as obvious as stating the reverse of what your arguing could have gone unnoticed for years. I really like the idea of putting the argument out in plain view right at the start instead of hiding it deep in the paper so that your position is overwhelmingly dominant. I feel this is some good advice that I intend to use.
The second part of the readings I had mixed feelings about. I think instruction on how to format a disagreement or an agreement can be very helpful, especially if someone is very early in their education, but it seemed sort of common sense at this point in writing. None of the points made seemed really new or helpful, just reiteration of what everyone was probably already doing. "state your stance... back it up," seems like a pretty basic format to follow. The author did get a bit deeper into more complex agreements, and disagreements, but it seemed like they all pretty much fit together. I feel the ideas presented in this second part really didnt advance my concept of writing or affect how I'm going to write in the future.

Micah Andersen

G.O. P.A.T.E.L

The main purpose of Orwell's essay is to show the reader how the English language can be, and is often, misused in everyday writing. One of his main points is that when a writer is trying to describe something he/she will often water down their statement because of the all the overused metaphors and descriptive words in their writing. He blames this mainly on poor habit patterns of the modern English writer and say that, if practiced, quality and truely descriptive English writing is achievable. Another main point that Orwell makes is that poor writing is often used in politics to disguise the true meaning/purpose of a statement. I find this to be accurate because it seems like politicians will sometimes hide behind long, vague statements to avoid exposing the truth of what they are actually saying.

This reading is very useful because in this unit we will be writing a lengthy argument paper. Orwell's advice on writing will help when writing the paper. I personally will try to not use the metaphors and other words he says are overused. I think by reading this essay it will cause writers to think more carefully about the words and metaphors they use in their writings instead of just plugging in descriptive words that might not even accurately describe what they are talking about.

Orwell Response

In this reading it talks about how while arguing you don't have to attack the other persons point. This is important because while writing an argument paper, you wont only have people with the same opinion reading your paper, and if you attack what that person thinks then they will automatically be turned off during you paper and wont want to read anymore.
This essay is important to what we are doing in class since we have our argument papers due in a couple weeks.This essay will be helpful because while writing you don't want to go after one side or the other, you want to give your opinions in the correct way. Overall I think that this essay will help me while writing my own.

"Argument" response

The main point of this reading is that arguing a point doesn't have to be an attack on someone else’s views. There are many ways to argue, or persuade without a direct attack. According to the reading, Aristotle had "three arenas for persuasion-before the courts, before legislators and others who make public policy, and at social occasions." This is the best way to separate the different ways to persuade, and make them understandable. There is court persuasion, "defending or accusing someone, or arguing about past events", legislature persuasion, "to exhort or dissuade about a future action", and social occasions, "focused on praise or blame, or arguments about the present." I had never really thought about it like that until this reading, persuasion no longer seems like an obnoxious argument from one person trying to convince you otherwise, it is different depending on where it is used.

This is obviously elated to our class, since we will be writing a persuasive paper in the upcoming weeks. This reading will enable us to think about what we are trying to convince people of, or at least make people consider our point of view. Hopefully this will lead to papers no longer shooting down the views of others, and smack talking them, but rather an informal type of persuasion to help better understand everyone’s point of view.

micah, response

Response to Bruce Ballenger's "Writing an Argument"

Ballenger's chapter on writing an argumentative essay was quite enlightening in respect to its examination of the different parts to an argument, and I wish I had read this years ago. His analysis of the factors needed in an argumentative essay is straightforward, and I can see how many of my previous papers related to his breakdown. I was particularly interested in his ideas on how to view the paper itself, I've always assumed an argumentative paper was to convince others that your thesis was correct and that others were incorrect, a very black and white view, but after reading this I realize my writing style is probably pretty combative. I've often started writing with only my view in mind and would often ignore counter evidence, so as not to devalue my own argument. Ballenger states that counter views should be included and explored if only to refute them.

Another part that really stuck with me was the part on generalizations. I see this all the time in magazines and periodicals, and I'm guilty of writing papers with gross generalizations that may not be supported by actual evidence, but instead popular opinion. Generalizations can be useful, but need to be supported by factual evidence.

I really enjoyed his views on how arguments are beneficial if conducted in an open manner. I personally love a good discussion, but I see how in writing being overbearing can cause a reader to reject you essay simply on the tone it is written in. I think for this next essay I'm going to need to take a less assertive stance and give actual credence to conflicting view points.

Overall I found this reading very helpful and I'm going to try to keep some of the ideas expressed in mind while writing my next paper.

Reading Respomse

This week we read, 'Writing an Argument' this reading is important to our class because we are getting ready to write our argument papers, as well as our own Op-eds. In this reading it talks about how some people think that argument is a bad thing. While in other cultures argument is a sign of commitment, "argument is deemed as boring." (203) This reading also gives visual help as to how to gather information for writing either an argument paper, or an Op-ed. Those visuals will come in handy when we are staring to write our own.
This reading is important to this class because we are starting to write our own argument papers, and this will help us come up with ideas for where to start. Also this will be helpful, because it shows us that arguing is a large part of the news papers, some of the things that are printed are printed to make people think about things in a way that can get them worked up.

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